At all costs, be nice.
Your job is to make people feel good.
You’re a defender of the status quo.
You agree with Stalin:
everyone should be happy.
The first to stop smiling gets the axe.
The first to stop clapping, disappears.
What’s all this doom and gloom?
The Democrats are the party of good cheer.
The Republicans represent darkness.
Oscar Wilde – were he alive – would be
easy to place; he never had anything nice to say.
We know what he represented. We
don’t need to read his stories.
His books don’t deserve reprinting.
Take them out of circulation. I’ve got it:
let’s distribute the works of a dedicated progressive
instead: Obama’s memoirs along with the yellow pages.
We’ll make them mandatory reading, like
Slaughter-House Five for incoming freshmen.
We’ll not only not read Oscar Wilde, we’ll
arrest those who try to keep him in print.
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